Sooooo I went to a Lavender Festival last weekend. I was very tempted to write something pithy like “live your life like a bee and collect the honey 🍯 ” or “grateful for the amazing lavender festival” (I am, for the record). But as Rihanna reminds us on her defining motivational number, “Hard”, I stay “never lying, truth teller”. Some friends of mine had been raving (three years ago) about this “amazing” festival near Napa that conjured up a very Provençal vibe. I was intrigued because I enjoy lavender, recreationally (not an aromatherapy enthusiast by any stretch of the imagination) and yes, I thought it would photograph beautifully. Long story short, I dragged my brother out Saturday morning, super pumped, trying to get him excited for this epic festival. The whole time his soothsayer instincts kicked in and he’s like dude this doesn’t seem like it’s going to be as good as you’re thinking it will be. Drove for 2.5 hours. Ended up somewhere near Davis, CA (nowhere near Napa) in the middle of acres of farmland. Felt like the start of a bad horror film. Looked like it too when it was miles of single lane traffic and my cell service crapped out. We arrived for the festival – it was probably less than half an acre of lavender behind someone’s home, dotted with lots of Asian tourists all carrying scissors and various pruning devices to “pick the lavender”. We were the only brown people. My brother was miserable and pissed, but had this strangely delighted, perpetually eye-rolling, “I told you so” face. I was still trying. Unfortunately I could not as nothing lived up to the hype. The “food” was underwhelming. The music was a white guy playing Peruvian flute in the tunes you listen to on a Pandora Spa music station. All in all strange vibes. We lasted 20 minutes, about 20 photos and one glass of lavender “lemonade” before fleeing to Davis, which is a tale of its own but was made all the more serendipitous by the numerous references dropped on me the night before on Hasan Minhaj’s Netflix special. This is the souvenir image I managed to get so all in all, an experience I would definitely recommend!