Sometimes you get seriously #blessed and get a two in one deal when your brother is also your best friend. 23+ years of that relationship evolves from poking each other's eyes and yanking hair to creating games of house where you kindly let him hold your doll to running around the backyard, begging each other not to tell Mom about something to fighting over books and kirtan slots to pushing each other in the park to yelling "you're stupid and I hate you" to helping each other with school assignments to staying up pounding a button to keep an open line on the college application server so you can submit your essay at 12 am exactly to arriving at University and realizing suddenly, somewhere, this is the only person who actually just gets you, no explanation or backstories needed. And while you were off chasing best friendship with all of the people at dance and scouts and Temple, the shy, quiet kid who was forced to follow you everywhere, who you wished would just leave you alone, who loved you unconditionally, who hated seeing you get hurt - he was your guy. So then college happens for him, and you watch your little brother blossom into a popular, wise beyond his years COMPUTER SCIENTIST, with a penchant for craft coffee, good design and eclectic music. He's suddenly busy, way cooler than you are and somehow still willing to spend time with you and pick you up from the airport with your favorite foods in hand. You pick his brain on philosophy, religion, Instagram girls, travel, family, insecurities, love, loss, pain and as you laugh, cry, sit in silence - your heart feels whole and complete, like nothing could ever break it. And when it does break, he listens, a little awkwardly, and then turns on some music, makes you food and reminds you to never sell yourself short, commends you for your courage and reminds you that we do lots of things in life for the story.
So when he gets an amazing opportunity at Google in New York and you find yourself bursting into tears at random intervals because a part of your soul is going on a mad adventure and you're going to miss him, you write this post and hope he always remembers just how incredibly loved he is. #raiandbhai
68. 🤳🏽 I fall short in expressing the gratitude I feel, always, for the absolute blessing of having a family that just gives and gives and gives. Even when I'm irrational. Even when I'm undeserving. Even when they could be doing literally anything in the world. Even when I'm an actual bitch.
Between the instagrammable moments, the laughs, the jokes and the consistent reunions, this week I reflected on how much work all of "this" takes. Apart from my parents sacrificing their careers and lives to dedicate to our future, it didn't just stop at college; they are instantly accessible to us, in the loop about everything in our lives and we rely on them as sounding boards and advice givers. What isn't ever captured on the gram however is how much selflessness and work this is. How we are constantly working on giving and taking and calling and texting and being there for one another. It is easy to take for granted the fact that this is a constant choice, forgetting that none of this is a given and that the time we have with one another is truly a gift. But it is not. And even when we are together we are all new amalgams of who we once were: the same souls, rich in new experiences, changed in viewpoints, interested in new passions, proficient in love but subject to a full gamut of emotions and the startling realization that we are the only people who are proficient in pushing each other's buttons. There are long discussions, shouting matches, loving words, bursts of tears, surprising affirmations, bouts of frustration, songs of joy and moments of pure love. To maintain relationships, there is constant accomodation and compromise being made, transacted in the currency of love and respect. It is never as simple as the smiles you see on a highlights reel.
This is all to say that love is action and showing up for family is a choice. Hang on tight and love the shit out of them. Life is too short to be upset about the small things; let it go. If you're mad or happy, say something. Be vulnerable. Appreciate the little things. Curb that ego telling you it's all about you. Show up. Say thank you. Call. Send texts just because. Say you love them. Love more now. #familylove
67. Entering the other half of my twenties meditating on this quote: "in the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." In deep appreciation for all of you, near and far, who made me feel like the luckiest girl alive. I have had the best week! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. .
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Ty @ashley_blum for following the rule of three 😜
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