Day 41

Almost didn’t post today because it was a hell of a day. Be it hormonal, mental or physical exhaustion – I was the walking definition of a hot mess. This last month man! It has consisted of nonstop work, commuting and spending some evenings, yes, the obsessively instagrammed ones, enjoying concerts and life. What I don’t post about but probably should, to provide a more realistic picture, is all the crap that sandwiches the Instagram and the amazing experiences. Like the 2 weekends it took to pack and move in which I horrified myself with the amount of things I had accumulated and went crazy dealing with a weevil infestation (literally the most vile things) or my poor financial decisions or how this is my second drive back home which means I’ve spent 33 hours in the last month booking it on the 5 freeway. This time, I arrived 1 am Sunday for Mother’s Day. We all had a grand old time and I’m grateful I live nearish to home to make spontaneous decisions.
I worked from home yesterday as planned but this morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed, at all. I spent the majority of the morning crying at the most ridiculous things.

The kitten in the backyard 
my home deities 
work emails 
journal entries about and a letter from a friend no longer in my life 

And of course, I’m doubly emotional, even now, after 8 years, every freaking time I leave home. I simply cannot leave without crying, sometimes less than others but there are always waterworks involved. Couple that with an 8 hour drive, 4 sales calls, limited food to avoid bathroom breaks and you can only imagine. So today I’m grateful for these two for being so loving, spending an hour calming me down, mum making me cheelas because “what you eat will affect how you feel and my food is made with love so you will feel it”, dad washing my car for me because “the princess must ride in style” triggering another series of waterworks, mum insisting that I have some chai before I go and thus delaying me 35 more mins, dad packing me ice cream sandwiches because “we won’t eat them”, a group hug and then this scene as I pulled away. To the keepers of my heart, I love you. 😘

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